A farmer rears 25 young hens and 1 old cock.
As the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock from the market .
Old cock: Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity.
Young cock: What do you mean? As far as I know, you are old and should retire.
Old cock: Young boy, there are twenty-five hens here, can't I help you with some?
Young cock: No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.
Old cock: In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition and if I win, you shall allow me to have one hen and if I lose you will have all.
Young cock: Ok! What kind of competition?
Old cock: 50 meter run, from here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 meters...
Young cock: No problem! We will compete tomorrow morning.
Confidently, the following morning, the Young cock allows the Old cock to start off and when the Old cock crosses the 10 meters mark, the Young cock chases him with all his might.
Soon enough, he was behind the Old cock's back in a matter of seconds.
Suddenly, Bang! ..... Before he could overtake the Old cock, he was shot dead by the farmer, who cursed, "F'king hell! This is the fifth GAY chicken I've bought this week!"
Moral of the story: Never under-estimate an old cock!
Wednesday, 16 February 2011
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
Nude Runner
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.
'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!'
'I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!'
'If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!' she replied. 'He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!'
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.
Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
Do you always run in the nude?' one asked.
'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!'
Another runner moved a long side. 'Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?'
'Oh, yes' our friend answered breathlessly. 'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!'
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, 'Do you always wear a condom when you run?'
'Nope...just when it's raining.'
'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!'
'I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!'
'If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!' she replied. 'He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!'
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.
Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
Do you always run in the nude?' one asked.
'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!'
Another runner moved a long side. 'Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?'
'Oh, yes' our friend answered breathlessly. 'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!'
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, 'Do you always wear a condom when you run?'
'Nope...just when it's raining.'
I'm broke
Yesterday I answered a knock on the door, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.'
'Go away!' I said. 'I haven't got any money!', 'I'm broke!' and proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open.. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto my hallway carpet.
'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.'
I stepped back and said, 'Well I hope you've got a F*cking good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning. What part of broke do you not understand??
'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.'
'Go away!' I said. 'I haven't got any money!', 'I'm broke!' and proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open.. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto my hallway carpet.
'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.'
I stepped back and said, 'Well I hope you've got a F*cking good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning. What part of broke do you not understand??
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
Monday, 3 August 2009
Other usage of Tampons
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and paid.The counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?""Eight," he replied.The man continued, "do you know their usage?"The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either".
Saturday, 28 March 2009
Saturday, 14 March 2009
儿子和父亲的对话
儿子和父亲的对话
儿子：爸，我怎么会来到这世界？
爸爸(上网中)：迟点再说给你知道好吗？
儿子：为什么不现在说？说啦~
爸爸(像回忆起一段往事)：好啦，好啦，你听清楚啦~
' 有一天，你爸妈在房里上网时，你爸Connect去你妈那，而你吗从我这Memory Stick里Download了些东西。当你爸Upload完后，发现自己没开Firewall，你妈又没Antivirus。那时我想Delete时已 经太迟了，九个月后你就来到这世界啦，儿子你明不明呀？'
儿子：噢~原来我是病毒...
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